BOUNDARIES VS CONTROL
I have to tell you, I'm a computer illiterite. My friend Roy helped me out alot, & even set up this blog for me. I must have frustrated him, but he never showed it. He was very patient with me, & I appreciate him. If you read this blog Roy, thank you so much for all your help.Now about control. A friend of mine has a post about controlling in a relationship. I feel the same way. We get into traps rather than relationships because we try & control the other person. I have found thru experience that there are certain things I can't allow in a relationship, & this is for my own sobriety, self worth, & peace of mind. I can't allow drinking/using in any form. That to me would be disrespectful of my sobriety. I can't allow cheating, or disrespect. That to me is not controlling, but keeping healthy boundaries, we have to have healthy boundaries, in order to have relataionships of all kinds. Respect of myself first, then & only then can I respect you. I have made all the excuses to protect my ego, & found out the hard way about having healthy boundaries vs control. It has been a long, rough road to discover some things, I'm still discovering, but I'm on that journey to a healthier self, & I have to surround myself with healthy people for support. I am not saying I don't help the still suffering alcoholic, I do, & hopefully by my setting boundaries I help the other person to do the same, I don't join them, because if I do, it is no help to either one of us, I've just let the sickness take us both down. I have found also why AA says men with the men, & women with the women. It's too risky when you cross that line, you have to ask yourself what your true motives are.
Labels: sobriety relationships boundaries motives
posted by sharonsjourney @ 4:08 PM
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