PATIENCE & TOLERENCE.....
The 10th reminds me of how hard I am on myself. In turn I'm hard on you, whomever is in my space. I got a couple of nice comments from Guilty Secret, & Controposso, on my last post, about doing what's in front of me. I still think I have to 'do' all these things, & sometimes all I can do for the day is stay sober. Some days are like that, I'm good at the shoulda coulda woulda's. The 10the step deals alot with patience & tolerence. I've been practicing that with others, but not myself. When somebody at a meeting, or the Daily Reflections said to practice it with ourselves also, well, that was foreign to me. So yea! Give me a fcking break! I say that to myself. Thank you for the comments. My sponsor has been trying to instill that in me too, I didn't get it till last nite at the meeting, & then with these comments. I've always been one to work hard, & I've been letting up some, & feeling guilty about it, then I'm so scared of getting complacent, too, been there. It's not a good place to be, & is hard to get out of. Sometimes in the past I would set myself up. If I wasn't working really really really hard, & perfecting whatever I do, the steps, housework, exercise, etc. I may as well not do it at all, that is a set up. So, I just learned I don't have to be rigid, perfect, or some days even DO anything, I can just be. I'll take care of it, day by day. I do believe in praying every day, & reading my morning stuff. But, there comes a day I forget, or I get in a hurry, & that's just the way it is, but I always pay for it, so I try not to forget. So I'm learning to be more tolerant of myself, more accepting, patience will come.
posted by sharonsjourney @ 3:27 PM
4 Comments:
hey! what a nice post. for me the struggle between letting up a bit and then worrying that i'm being complacent are still ongoing. but you've put it so nicely in perspective, thanks.
thanks for your message. hubby's okay. he doesn't talk too much when this kind of thing happens. me, i just worry twice as much for a time, since he's so mad about his bike. so i'll be biting my nails for the next while whenever he goes out on his bike...
glad you liked the poem, yip, i wrote it...
hi...thanks for checking up on me. Yes, I am fine! 17 units of school is kicking my butt, and I'm working too. But....its all good.
Ya know, if we are too rigid we will snap like a twig...be a willow today baby, bend and go wherever this new life takes you. No shouda, wouldas.....you are just fine.
:) what a very sweet post! Thanks for sharing that.
I, too, need to not be in such a hurry that I neglect the important things - including morning prayer.
You are fantastic
Yeah, to just be is an important thing. I like to think of my life as malleable now--I can flex and bend.
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