GOD AS I UNDERSTAND HIM?
Last nite at the meeting the topic was on our HP, or God. I interchange. I've always known there was a God, I just didn't know, I could have a personal relationship with Him, until I came into AA. Not till I read it in the BB. To me God was liteyears away, & was either too busy, or didn't want much to do with me. Then I didn't know I had a choice either, that I could make a decision on Him. I read about that in the BB too. Where it said God either is or isn't. Put to me that way, & I made a decision I would rather there be a God than not. I thot I was such a horrible person, until I read that God is in us all. That, for one, told me I wasn't so bad, for another, He was personal to me. That changed my whole attitude about God. And too, where it talks about like having the feeling for a friend, is the feeling you have toward God. All this stuff I read in the BB opened my heart, & my mind. I might have never found my HP if I hadn't come into AA. I feel love & caring for other people too, besides my family. That is God in me. I don't have alot of understanding of God, but I think he wants us to seek Him, & to question, He wants the choice to be ours, to turn our will over to him. He realizes we're not robots, that we do have our own will, & a brain to question. I don't think we have to be do gooders either, I don't think He wants us to change our personalities, but to change our hearts. I mean, I'm not a do gooder church goer, church doesn't do it for me, AA does. Should that matter? As long as we are even willing to believe, then turn our life & our will over to Him? That for me doesn't happen over nite. It is progress, not perfection. I wouldn't know how to act, I don't know if I could handle it if it happened overnite, tho I kinda wish it would. But I don't feel my time is wasted as long as I seek Him, & keep an open mind, & heart. This is my hope, anyway. You all have a great week end. Keep questioning, keep seeking.
posted by sharonsjourney @ 2:46 PM
4 Comments:
It's fantastic how God can take something negative, like a horrible addiction, and bring a greater good out of it ...if we allow Him. What a blessing, eh? :)
Enjoy the day. And have a great week.
don't forget that a lot of people think that 12 steppers are a bunch of do gooders also. we really don't know the hearts of people in any kind of program, including churches. We find God on my paths..AA, church, synagogs etc.
AA works best for me, but lots of my AA friends do both.
I agree that seeking HIM is the only way to find HIM.
everyone understands god in their own way. but reading your post, you seems to have a pretty good understanding going there, that makes a lot of sense!
Sounds like you're doing great. I've always thought, if there is a God, he's inside me, not 'out there somewhere.'
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