I'M AN ALCOHOLIC....
The topic this morning was the Daily Reflections for today. You know, I had so much shame about my drinking/drugging, & the things I did. Letting myself get to such a low bottom. There's not many women in this area that lost everything, they still had their houses, cars, careers, etc. As one woman put it, she may not have lost the material things, but she lost her soul. Why did I have to hit a lower bottom to lose mine? That kind of thinking is my ego telling me I'm worse than they are, I'll never measure up, I'm not as good as, they didn't wind up homeless, so they weren't as bad off. I'm lower than the lowest. That's my ego setting me up to fail, to go back out, I don't deserve sobriety, I'm different, I'm unique. It's just as egotistical as someone who thinks they're better, it's ego in reverse. I read that somewhere in the BB. What an awakening that was. I never thot of myself as being egotistical. I've always had low sef esteem, how could that be egotistical? But it is. So it's good to know I'm not different, I'm an alcoholic among other alcoholics. What a joy that is to find out. Keep on Keepin' On.
posted by sharonsjourney @ 3:04 PM
2 Comments:
darlin' don't let something I think change your thinking!! (with regards to my comment/then yours :)
This is your blog...you write what ever you want to...BE YOU.
Now, haveing said that.
I used to think the same thing about other women not haveing lost as much as me. I discovered thru the years that many many lost lots more.
I wanted to so bad to fit in with women who could do PTA and Soccer and such.....but even after years of sobriety....I don't fit in there at all. Maybe that's why I continue to go to AA stuff...cuz I fit in.
We all feel "different" it's part of what makes us alcholics. Just keep doing what you are doing (and write whatever you want) don't let my "mouthing off" stop you.
we're all alike yet all different. don't think about where you've come from, but of where you are now.
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