I GET TO.....
I think I need to go off my anti depressant. I think it's leaving me numb. I'm going to talk to my dr. about it. Every couple of weeks I sleep a day or two all day, I have no motivation, or energy. I guess you could say I'm slothful. I hate that! I don't like being on meds anyway, & I believe if I keep working the steps, i can go off them. I know of some people who did, & they're doing better. It's not that I'm not happy, my life is good. I have a wonderful sister, a circle of friends, my cat Riley, who thinks I'm wonderful. Maybe it's cuz I'm used to chaos in my life, I don't know. It isn't now, & I don't want it. Chaos used to keep me motivated, gave energy, most of it was from anger. So now, I have to deal with the peace in my life. Sounds strange doesn't it? I HAVE TO deal with the peace in my life? It's more like, I need to get used to it, adjust, or even more so, conform my will to God's will. That's it! I don't HAVE to do anything, but I GET to do everything. Makes sense to me.
posted by sharonsjourney @ 7:08 AM
5 Comments:
I am glad you are talking to your dr first... it will be hard at first, it was for me in the beginning... took me about 8 months to get out of that funk...
I know for me, when I was new in recovery, even 3-4 yrs, I was overwhelmed with emotions still ... hell even now I get that way... LOL but I talk to people, journal, go to meetings, pray, rely on God, watch my thoughts and take care of myself.. good luck with this. Talk to the people who have done this, and ask them what it was like for them when they go off and how long until they felt a little more even? stuff like that.. ok enough of me now.. .LOL
have a great day
i'm also going off mine. although i want to go off them cause i don't feel any different whether i take them or not. and this is the 2nd one i've tried and the result is the same. i'm on 1 every 2 days now and when they're finished, i'm not getting any more.
and i so understand what you're saying about the chaos thingy. when things were too normal, too quiet, too not happening, i used to create situations that would cause upheavel. once i realised this, it got better. i still every now and again start going down that road, but fortunately, since i'm aware of what i'm doing, i can stop it in time. it DOES take getting used to peace....
Be patient, it can be a long, slow process. Good luck :)
I know what you mean of being scared of the people in meetings. I have this thing that I only want to go to all womens meetings cause I feel safer being a young woman and all. But there's only one meeting a day with women and sometimes I can't make it. I have to start facing my fears. Thanks for your words of encouragement tonight, hopefully my stupid paranoia will ease with time.
You slay me sometimes ! LOL
I too am glad you will consult your doctor before going off the meds. I know for me, after a while, it's like the meds build up in my system and I start to feel kinda zombie like. When that happens, I cut back for a while and then feel more like me again. We hafta be careful with depression though, try to remember that it is not a BAD thing to have to take a medicine ie: for high blood pressure or diabetes or depression!
Love you Sharon!
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