FELLOW TRAVELER

DEPRESSION......

I've had an extremely difficult last few days, where I've been in a dark place. I haven't gone there for some time. That's what resentments can do to you, if you don't take care of them when they pop up. I had dealt with this before, but it popped up, coupled with some other things going on with me. I'm ok now, but boy, I sure didn't like being there.

The area assembly is here this week end. We have 3 people in area officer's positions, that hasn't happened for a long time. That is cool. We've had some trouble in the past filling those positions. It looks like I'm gsr of my homegroup again. Ours bailed out, couldn't even finish the assembly. He's into his own stuff. This morning at the meeting I'm going to pick committment for a topic, & ask him what it means to him. Had he given me enough notice, I could have gone to the assembly, but he did this about half way thru it. Didn't even go. So our group wasn't represented. Our vote was counted, but we just didn't have a gsr there. I could have gone anyway, whether he went or not, so I can't blame him. It was my choice not to go, & I usually go to these. I was still in my own dark place. I hear I missed an awesome assembly. There were alot of gsr's there. I'm glad to hear there was such a good turn out, at least. That's what I get for being in my own self pity. Damn! Sorry I missed it. So there I go blaming again. I really need to work on that, stay in my own hoola hoop.

I know it's beautiful this time of year, but I don't like it. For one, there were too many deaths in my family. And I just don't like it anyway. It reminds me of winter coming, but I go thru it every year. I think I will have my anti deperessant increased thru the winter, come about this time, or a little earlier. Then take it back down in the Spring. Right now I'm without it at all. I'm hanging on to the program, & my friends in AA. I'm on review, & I forgot to fill out some places, so it's taking longer this time.

posted by sharonsjourney @ 8:34 AM