I think there are some things I'm not dealing with. I take naps, I am putting off working on my fourth step, I've done quite a bit of it, but I need to follow thru. I'm numbing out. My creativity has all but left me. I want to enjoy my sobriety, I want to participate in my life, I'm not doing that. It feels like I'm working real hard at keeping the dam up, if I start really dealing with things, & really feeling, I'll completely lose it. I did that once before when I was in a relationship, that was very abusive, & it triggered alot of stuff. Well, I did lose it! I wound up going to jail for harming the guy I was going with. I had so much hurt. Not just from what he was doing, but it broke the dam. I don't ever want to do anything like that again. I still feel horrible for what I did, & I certainly do regret it. I know it says we do not regret the past, but I do regret hurting people. I hurt my family, I hurt all of my relationships. I have learned from it tho, & hope to never do those things again. I was crazy back then, & reactive. I have learned tools thru this program, to better cope with 'stuff'. I have a good support system, & loving friends who help me. I reach out, not as much as I should. I still keep things to myself alot. I have found another tool to help me reach out & that is blogging, I write about things, & I get support there from you guys. Thank you for that.
Love, Sharon
Labels: feelings, reaching out, regret the past, sponsor, support
posted by sharonsjourney @ 12:49 PM
5 Comments:
Holy cow Sharon, I could have substituted my name for yours and written this post myself! All except the going to jail part, that is on the very short list of "things I've never done-yet"...
I also have a sponsor who has cancelled out on me, or not been there when I needed her. I attend a woman's group now, lots of great gals with all kinds of sobriety. I bet if I go this week and 'talk' about my sponsor concerns, I'll leave with lots of phone numbers and maybe evev a new sponsor! HMMMM...
Hang in there love, God will guide you to what you need! I believe you are worth it!
Lots of LOVE and BIG {{{HUGS}}}
sounds like you are "in touch" with your feelings and your needs. Listen to them. I used to ignore my, thinking I wasn't worth someone's else's time. We are worth it. Our sobriety is worth it. God will guide you, ask for solution to be revealed. I'm thinking about you.
Hey hey, my liberal friend. :)
Sorry I haven't been around much of late.
The crappy weather is just in time for spring break. Good timing don't you think?
Makes me wanna slap Mother Nature right in the mouth. Hehe
I've been pretty busy keeping the kiddos entertained by things other than tv and Nintendo
Not having much luck though. Boooo.
getting a new sponsor. very nice, Sharon. Go for it.
Really sounds like Sharon knows Sharon - hehe. It's damn good to know thyself isn't it?
Hi Sharon...If you have an e-mail, send me a note and I'll hook you up to the links thing OK? How's it going anyway? Thank you so much for your support in MY journey it really means a lot to me!
Love and HUGS
e-mail di not work...sorry! delete this after OK!
OK, gurl friend here we go!...
-go to customize in your template
-click on add links (or link list)
-go to blog you want to add
-click on the address in the blue box up top
-hold control and 'c' key
-go back to add links and in the address do control and 'v''
-you will have to dedlete the beginning part HTTP etc as it will appear twice OK
- insert the name that you want to appear ex
Lushgurl for my blog link of course LOL
- add link then save
-keep doing this until all of your links are on...check them to make sure they work
-if they don't work, make sure the address only has ONE HTTP at the beginning, that is usualy what I did wrong!!! 'cause I too am computerly challenged!!!
If you want you can call me...I know long distance is expensive, but it never hurts to have another phone number just in case... (613) 724-2658 . I'm sure that YOU CAN DO THIS 'cause I managed to! and now I am determined to add other stuff, customizing ones' blog is the NEW addiction of choice!!
I have not followed up on the job yet, I think it would be a good place, so I think I'm still a little afraid, but I will follow up anyway.
As always thanks for being there! I so appreciate all of the support, especially lately as things are a bit strained between me and my daughter...I will probably blog about her again today!
So good luck with this and like I said use my number if you want to or need to I am here for you too!
Love ya Sharon, bye for now!!!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home