I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND UNGRATEFUL......
I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I am, for my friends, my sis, AA, my HP, so many things, that I'm alive & doing well. I'm not really depressed, but this time of year I don't like being single. I want someone special, a signifigant other to share with, & spend the holidays with. It's not that I don't appreciate my friends, & my sis, I do, very much. There just seems to be something missing, like having my own family, my siginifigant other, a different kind of closeness. The holidays are for families, yes, friends too. I can't be with my sis, tho I can talk to her on the phone. I miss the family get togethers, I miss having a man in my life. I know a man is not necessarilly going to bring me happiness, I've learned that the hard way. Still.....Maybe it's the idea of it, you know, you get it in the movies, the songs, you see couples holding hands, you see families together. I will most likely spend Xmas Eve, & at least part of Xmas day at home alone, & it's hard. I'm not looking for sympathy, just writing about it. I'm going to spend tomorrow playing Santa & deliver friend's Xmas gifts, that will be fun, I will enjoy that, So, I'm trying to focus more on things like that, & my gratitude list, I've been given so much! I don't think I was meant to be single, but I try & make the best of it. I just hope I don't get too set in my ways to get into a relationship, if that should happen. I don't think about it so much, until this time of year, & Valentines Day, of course. I am not holding my breath, till I get in one, or anything like that. I just get very lonely, I miss intimate conversations, being held, laughing together, special moments. I know a man is not going to fill my void, that's codependency, & I already hit my bottom in that! I don't want to, nor do I intend to go there again. I put my life into my HP's hands, it'll be ok, I know that, & I trust that. You all have a very merry Xmas, I will be ok. I have alot of love to give, & I get it back, what more could I ask for? I miss being held by someone who thinks I'm special, who loves me. But wait a minute, I get that from my sis, & my friends. You know what I mean. Am I being selfish? Perhaps so. I guess I'm feeling vulnerable, & maybe a little needy & sensitive. I miss being in love.
posted by sharonsjourney @ 4:49 PM
6 Comments:
you're not ungrateful. you're just human. and it's natural to want to have a significant other... i'm happy to see you have a plan, stay well and stay happy! lots of love to you from me!
I am glad to see that you are remembering that you are not alone, that you are loved, and that you are in love with people. That's great. Too many people forget those things.
have a great Christmas. God bless.
Hi Sharon.
Ditto to what our mutual friend, Shadow said. You're acting just like a normal human being. To love and be loved.
Anyway, that for your lovely comments. My winning will be your winning too. Thank you for the vote though.
Today is Christmas eve. Merry Christmas to you Sharon and to your family. Wish you all the best.
Greetings and lotta loves from Malaysia.
merry christmas my dear sharon!!!
I understand what you are saying. I think that we were meant to share our love and it's hard to do that alone. I do think that there's a difference between being alone and lonely. I've been both and lonely is definitely the harder.
Hi Sharron,
Happy Christmas, hey I am still on my own too at the other side of the Atlantic.
Seems to me my hp wants me this way, hope you have a great Christmas and here is to 2008 and new friendships, who knows could be our lucky year
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