OLD AA.............
When I first came in AA, it was old AA, & I had to learn humility from the start. Back then, they had smoking meetings. I was told to do service work, by emptying the ashtrays after the meeting, washing the cups, I graduated to making the coffee, & chairing a meeting. I was also told I announce my birthdays, by 1mo. 2mo. 3mo 6mo. 9mo. & yrs. thereafter. The meetings I go to now, they announce every mo. & it takes up valuable time of the meeting, besides, there's no humility there. I was also told, we leave our degrees, & our professions out of the meeting. When you come in the rooms of AA, you're just another alcoholic, junkie. There is one woman who comes to meetings, & without fail, every time she shares, she mentions her degrees, & profession. It separates her from the rest of the people, she's building herself up. I don't know about you, but around professional people I always felt not as good as. Besides, it's a complete turn off. No humility there, just ego. I think AA is watered down today, & I've noticed that a number of the newcomers aren't willing to do service work, or follow directions. I hope I don't sound like a bleeding deacon, or anything of the like. It's just thaat I've seen it get watered down over the yrs. That worries me, & sometimes pisses me off. There are alot more relapses too. I wonder why? Could it be they don't have the wilingness, they haven't surrended? Could be. I'm not here to judge, but I love AA, & I don't like it when I see people disrespecting our society, our way of life, our principles. But then, I relapsed. It wasn't cuz I didn't follow directions, I did, however, I argued with my sponsor, & thot I could do it myself, & back came the self will, the ego, & pride, my disease kicked in. I had humility in the beginning, but then, I took it back, I didn't surrender. I had 8yrs. once. That was when I was following directions, I did what they told me, I got into service work, I didn't announce my birthday every frickin' mo. To me, that's boosting your ego. Sorry, it's one of my pet peeves, not a big deal, but it bugs me.
posted by sharonsjourney @ 9:10 AM
4 Comments:
i haven't done aa and don't know what it's all about, it's not big in this country. but when i was in rehab, i just wanted to blend into the background, not draw attention to myself and list all my accomplishments, degrees etc. in rehab i was shown that alcoholism can hit anyone, no matter what your status in life. it's very indiscriminate. and learning that is humbling in itself.
I love to work thru my pet peaves on my blog also...it doesn't change them, but it gives me a chance to vent :)
We have over a 1000 different AA groups here in Houston, which is such a blessing, because when you come to a watered down group, you can simply move on. Where my precious Sister in law lives...there are only 2 AA groups, and from the sounds of them...they aren't very welcoming...this makes me so sad for her, because it took her so long to get here...and she does not have the advantage that I do of GREAT meetings to attend.
Keep posting Sharon!
SOUND OF SOBRIETY
Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk crap again,
An AA meeting softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the 12 Steps that were planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of sobriety.
In restless meetings I walked alone
Bill Wilson Clones, made of stone
Neath the halo of an OLD TIMER,
I turned my collar to the 1st and 3rd Step
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
That split the night
And touched the sound of sobriety.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand STEPPERS, maybe more.
STEPPERS reading the BIG BOOK,
STEPPERS hearing without listening,
STEPPERS writing their 4th STEP
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of sobriety.
Zombies said I, you do not know
Sobriety like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might BRAINWASH you,
Take my arms that I might 13th Step you.
But my words like the higher power fell,
And echoed
In the halls of sobriety
And the STEPPERS ranted and raved
To the AA god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, KEEP COMING BACK
IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT
And the 12 STEP ZOMBIES.
Whispered in the sounds of sobriety.
Peace Be With You
Micky
Friends, Romans, Steppers, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Wilson, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Wilson. The noble
MICKY
Hath told you Wilson was psychotic:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Wilson answer'd it.
Here, under leave of MICKY and the rest -
For MICKY is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men - Come I to speak in Wilson's funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But MICKY says he was a 13th STEPPER;
And MICKY is an honourable man.
He hath brought many Alkies home to AA
Whose stories, did the Church Halls fill:
Did this in Wilson seem ambitious?
When that the Alkies have cried, Wilson had a cigarette:
Emphysema should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet MICKY says he was a psychopath;
And MICKY is an honourable man.
You all did see that at the AA Convention
I thrice presented him an AA medallion,
Which his HIGHER POWER thrice refused: was this HOW IT WORKS?
Yet MICKY says he was a manic – depressive scam artist, who talked to dead people;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what MICKY spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to laugh at him?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And the 12 STEPS have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My BIG BOOK is in the coffin there with WILSON,
And I must pause till I can borrow another one.
Peace Be With You
Micky
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