Faced With My Own Conduct..............
There's a woman in & out of AA, that I find hard to be around, cuz she reminds me of myself so much. I was so selfish, & self centered, it was all about me. I didn't have a clue how much I was hurting my mom, sister, & brother. My mom aged 10 yrs. & my sister gained 100 lbs. both worrying about me. I would give anything if I could take it all back, but I can't. All I can do is stay sober. That is what got me sober. I was done. I was so full of regret in the end, it almost killed me, I couldn't lilve with my conscious, my heart. The disease shuts us off from love, from our spirit, our HP's spirit, & we are left to die, or change. My hand goes out to those who reach out, not crying wolf, but are willing to go to any lengths. I can't waste time on someone who isn't willing, I might be denying someone else who is. I've had to learn this from my own experiences, & that of others. I wish this woman well, I do. I can hardly be around her tho, it hurts, being faced with my own conduct. I don't think you can help anyone who isn't willing, or isn't done, you couldn't me.Labels: alcoholism, done with the disease. hurt., spirit, willingness
posted by sharonsjourney @ 12:24 PM
3 Comments:
all we can do is stay sober, and set an example, you never know when someone will reach out, it's so hard to watch, huh?
Listen to Meg, lots of wisdom there. In Rehab I had a hard time undertanding how this can be all about you. During our using days, we made sure it was all about us, at whatever price. They preached it is all about you. About day 38 I got it. I know the differnce today.
Be good to yourself todAAy. And it is all about Sharon.
peace
Hugs and kisses
Steve
Yeah, Sharon. Listen to them. It is all about Sharon.
Have a good weekend, Sharon.
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