FELLOW TRAVELER

GOD WORKING IN MY LIFE.............

I just came to realize, after reading something the other day about loving everyone, being patient, kind, tolerent, not gossiping, in other words God like, that I am human, not God. When I first came into the program I 'loved' everyone, I thot they were mini gods, cuz they were able to stay sober, & I wasn't. I don't know that I love everyone today, I do love some, & I care for many, except for predators. Then there are some I care about, or even love, but I don't like them, & I don't respect them. I can't put everyone in one lump sum, put them all into the same barrell, as far as my feelings go. This is good, I'm able to sort out my feelings, my picker is getter better, for friends, for lovers, for acquaintences. I'm a little better at knowing who is who. That's progress for me. I don't have to be 'nice' to everyone, but I can be respectful, & considerate, regardless of my feelings for them, & I don't have to act on my feelings, or what I think of someone, I don't have to be shitty either. I seem to be better able to know the difference. I've been doing this all along, but I wasn't in touch with my feelings, & didn't know what was going on till today. Awesome, how God works things out. It really is mindboggling, & I am grateful for the progress. I've done a bit of soul searching on this, & have been in some pain over it. Some of these people I was close to, but come to find out they were hiding from me, they are hiding from themselves & they got found out anyway. Am I making any sense? So now I have to put these people in my 4th step. For a time, I resented myself for being so stupid, then God told me I'm not, I just want to believe in people, & as it says in the BB, people are going to let you down. I know I've let people down, & I wish I could take it back, I can't so, I need to forgive those as I would like to be forgiven. Ok, ok, got it. I'm working on it. I'm feeling better, now that I've woken up a little more, & see God working in my life. It's ok where I'm at, I'm right where I'm s'pose to be. I used to hate it when people told me that, it's not so bad today. Hmmm. I don't like what I've done in the past, & some people are such a reminder of who I was, I can't hardly look at them, but I'm glad I at least see it in myself, so I can change it, & some of it has already changed, progress again. Thank God it's progress not perfection!

Labels: God working in my life, progress not perfection

posted by sharonsjourney @ 9:22 PM