FELLOW TRAVELER

Well, my sponsor did it to me again, she cancelled on me. I absolutely am going to get another sponsor! I'm worse off since working with her than I was before. I'm angry, resentful, those feelings of not being worthy are being reinforced. It's getting to be more & more about her, & she's taking me for granted. I don't like feeling this way. So, I asked somebody else to be my sponsor, I'm meeting with her tonite. I've had a few things happen in the last few days, that have made me angry, or feeling like a victim, & taken for granted. I don't like the way I'm feeling right now, & I'm chain smoking, & eating. So I decided to write about it. For one, I'm having trouble with my landlady, so I'm writing a letter & sending copies to her, the property management place, housing authority, & the health department. My new sponsor is helping me with the letter tonite. So I can get them sent out right away. I stopped by the club to see a friend who volunteers on sun. nite. Two of my ex's were (the only two I've had for years. Anyway, the one I went with a few months ago, he already has a new girlfriend, oh, & he loved me. The other one, it's been 11/2, but I'm still in love with him. The one had his new girlfriend with him, & the other was talking about the woman he's with. I wanted so much to make a sarcastic comment, but I didn't, to any of them. In fact, I was polite to all of them. I walked away with my dignity, & integrity in tact. Then this happened with my ex sponsor. Am I rambling? It's because I'm a little anxious, & emotional. I am so tired of being treated this way. I tend to let things slide for too long. Every time my ex sponsor cancelled, I went along with her excuse, I was agreeing that yea, she's more important than I am, I'm not worth your time. Bullshit. Same thing with my landlady on not making needed improvements to my apt. Enough is enough. I am not a victim! I won't let anyone victimize me anymore. I'm sorry, this is not a vey productive post, or carrying the message, I had to vent. Hope you all had a nice Easter.

posted by sharonsjourney @ 5:14 PM