FELLOW TRAVELER

PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION...........

Well, my landlady came by with the ins. adjustor, to look at my kitchen floors. He could tell when he walked on it there was water damage. Then he said, they need to be replaced anyway, the lanolium is really old, they haven't even made this kind for a long time. So! I'm getting new floors. Yay! I have to revise my letter now, there are still other issues that need attention, & I'm not letting up on them.

I didn't get a chance to tell my sponsor I let her go. She left for Africa this morning, & will be gone 3 wks. That will give me enough time to get stronger, to confront her. I don't intend to be nasty, am just going to tell her, she's too unreliable, that I have to move on. This whole deal with her, has slapped me in the face with my own character defects. I used to make excuses all the time, rather than do what was right. Or, I would avoid you. One thing she does is, shower me with compliments, tell me I'm a jewel, & that she loves me. How do you deal with that? By the way, I think I did that too, notice I said I think, I'm almost ready to face that about me. I did, to a lesser degree, but I still did it.

I love my new sponsor. She's forthright, doesn't pull any punches, but is gentle, supportive, encouraging, & loving. I'll have to work harder with this one, & that's ok. I think the work is going to be more intense, because I'm ready to deal with some core issues, that I have buried for so long. It's time. I don't want my life to 'happen' to me anymore. I want to be participating in it.

I had a spiritual experience a few days ago, it was awesome. I felt this sense of peace, I felt like I was home, I was with Sharon, I was Sharon in the present moment. What a strange & wonderful feeling that was. It was fleeting, of course. Now, I know what this is all about. It's about coming home, so you can be all that you are, & share that with others. I know there's more to it than that, but I think that's at the very core to recovery. We came in AA lost, & broken. We have the opportunity to put the pieces back, & make things right with others, with ourselves, with the universe. We are all connected, we are one. That's pretty powerful! Once we are at peace with our Higher Power, & with ourselves, & that is what my journey home is about. Respect, common sense, love, any number of things, more will be revealed. Selflessness, generosity.......I really get this Progress, not Perfection.

posted by sharonsjourney @ 3:34 PM