NO COMMENTS..........
My friend Randy died week before last of liver failure, he was in the program & had 2 yrs. sobriety, he died sober. I was beating myself up cause I've been in a funk. So I thot I was being in self pity, & selfish, & all that, but a friend suggested it might not be that at all, but that I'm grieving his death. That brings me to realize I use the program sometimes to beat myself up, if I'm a little down, or not following directions. That is not what the program is about, not at all. It is to help us live life on life's terms. I was really hard on myself when I was drinking & using, I really need to lighten up now. I, after all have to live with myself, & would think recovery brings us happiness. Yes, I have to be hard on myself, as far as being honest, but not beat up on myself. When I do that to me, I do that to you, also, & that's not the way it works. Love & tolerence is our code. I'll get thru this, I've been thru much more. I am so grateful for the program, & the friends in my life, & my sis. I had to remind myself of that, cause of this funk I'm in. I do start getting in myself, I get that fear of sharing in meetings, I want to be alone, I start isolating. All that is dangerous for me, but I know that, I wish I would get some comments. There must be noone reading my posts. So basically I'm writing to myself, & for myself, if I get no comments. I don't know why I keep writing. Because I like to write, but I really would like to get comments. I could go on, but I'm not going to, what's the use? Is anybody out there? Please comment.
posted by sharonsjourney @ 10:02 PM
4 Comments:
I'm sorry about your lost, Sharon. Don't be too hard on yourself. A friend of mine said, leaving comment on someone's blog/site is like giving a gift. So, start visiting others and leave a comment or two but don't expect anything in return. After all you are giving them a gift and in due time they will start giving you back. I hope you're doing alright by now.
That's my two cent, a Recovery Blogger from Malaysia.
Thank you so much for your comment! It made my day!
I believe we may know each other, my friend Randy passed away recently too. Coincidence? Thanks for sharing. :)
In December I had a friend pass. Sadly he passed of an O.D. on a relapse after finally getting 10 months clean. Simply heartbreaking...
I also felt selfish and self-centered for my total funk over his death until a wise blogger told me that grieving him was not selfish at all. She said it was not only necessary for healing, but also a way to honor his sweet memory.
Grief is a very difficult thing--even if you are NOT recovering. And thos of us in the program go so, so deep with each other that the loss of one is like the loss of a part of us.
I am sorry for YOUR loss, Sharon. I can so feel your pain.
Glad to see you have some people commenting now.....I am more than a little late and hope you see this somehow.
Peace,
Scout
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