FELLOW TRAVELER

WHAT ABOUT GOD?

I am working on my second step, & was given a questionaire to fill out. This is how I answered. I would appreciate any comments on this.

I can't explain my God, or put Him/Her into words, really, but when I leave things up to God, I know I'm going to be ok. I am safe & at home. 'I believe, God, help my unbelief'. God to me is all loving & all powerful. God has worked miracles in my drinking/drugging life, & in my sobriety. I know God knows. God loves me unconditionally. My awareness, trust, & faith gives me value as a person. When I accept, give, & receive, I am centered & safe at home. My relationship with God is a private sanctity. I only need to fully live, & truly love. My God is wise, courageous, humble, curious, funny, understanding, & tolerant. God gives me hope, humility, insight, an open mind, & a love for learning. This is my hope. I don't have to explain my Higher Power to anyone.

I doubt God's existance whereever there is suffering & tragedy. I also doubt His/Her love, power & presence in these sufferings & tragedies. I doubt God's love because sometimes it seems He/She loves some people & not others, or some more than . I have doubted God's love when my prayers don't get answered, or when there is suffering & tragedy.

My doubt manifests it's way in my thinking, acting & feeling. When I'm confused, judgemental, intoloerant, resentful, & jealous. When I'm insecure, depressed, in self pity, selfish, self centered, irresponsable, hurried, gluttoness, greedy, lazy, react, impulsive, without direction, childish, fearful, prideful, closed minded, & unteachable. When I lack humility.

I need God to believe in me, to love me unconditionally, I need God to have a sense of humor, I need His/Her guidance, & helping hand, I need God's gentle persuasion, & direction.

Where is God? I used to believe He/She was everywhere, inside, outside. I'm not so sure anymore What about the wars? All the suffering & tragedy, where is God? Maybe God is everywhere, & each of us has to open our hearts & minds. Maybe we need to be teachable. Maybe we need to be humble enough.

I can honestly say I don't know. I don't know what I don't know. I read where God said "I AM" That's too simple for complexing minds.

posted by sharonsjourney @ 5:08 PM