FELLOW TRAVELER

NEW HOPE......

I went to see the psychiatrist this morning & it went well. She's going to take me off one, maybe two of my meds, & that is good news. The less meds, the better. Come to find out, these two I've been on cause confusion, & memory loss (as if I need more of that!) & they dull the emotions. That explains alot! It answers alot of my questions, of why I'm not able to get in touch with my feelings, no matter how much step work I do. Of course she's going to do this slowly, & of course I want it overnite. I have also been in the grieving process over my mom dying, my aunt dying, & a failed abusive relationship. She said it takes about two years. It's been two years since all this started happening. She said things will start getting better now, & I'll be able to cope better. That gives me new hope, I'm really feeling good about this. I'll be back with the living! I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, my HP takes care of the rest. Today's Daily Reflections is on Faith, & I have renewed faith today. I will get back to my 4th step when I get off this medication. You all have a good one.
p.s. All this time I have needed meds, because I went thru some really tough times, I had alot of losses, & needed to grieve, but I kept relapsing & didn't give myself a chance, or the time to. The psychiatrist says it takes right around 2 years. I just now have 2 1/2 years sober, & am thru the rough part, I don't think I need to be on all of them anymore, but I have to do this gradually, & with a dr's. help. There was a time I was so depressed from grief, I really should have been hospitalized, & I don't say that lightly. I could not function. My life is good today, there is no chaos, nobody is dying, things are good. Not to say I don't still grieve, but it's not constant. I want to be in touch with my feelings, I want to think clearly. If I can't feel the bad, I can't feel the good either.

posted by sharonsjourney @ 11:49 AM