FELLOW TRAVELER

ONE OF OUR OWN.......

One of our own died last week. Complications from his hep C. There have been quite a few of ours die lately, either by their disease, or in accidents. Some have went back out & died, some have almost died. We need to keep carrying the message of hope. Nobody has to live under the influence. We have barely scratched the surface. I sometimes feel overwhelmed, I want to help so many suffering alcoholics/addicts! We're getting new ones in all the time tho, & if we can reach them, that's a beautiful thing. You never know how many other people, thru them we help. Tim's memorial is today. I told my sister, who will be doing my memorial, I want it to be a fun one. I want it to be full of good memories, good friends, & knowing I'm going to a good place. Nothing to be sad about there. While I'm alive, I hope to make good memories. There was a time I didn't. But that is done & over with, to go back on, & use only to help another. I forgot to mention the guy who just died was sober, & had been for some time. I know of at least two others who died sober, due to the ravage on their bodies from their alcoholism. This has made me painfully aware of my own mortlity. Just because we get sober doesn't mean we escape the ravage our alcoholism has done. He was only 52! My brother died of active alcoholism at 43. I have a nurse friend who tells us what miracles we are, those of us that are in the program, & doing well. She sees young people all the time come close to death, & dying from their disease. I am so grateful I am sober & healthy today. Well, I'm not the healthiest, I have illnesses caused from my disease, that I have to deal with, & keep a close eye on, so far, so good. I am a miracle, & I know that. I thank God every day for my sobriety.

I go see the psychiatrist mon. morning, & will hopefully get my meds straightened out. I am doing better. My good friend Michael spent quite a bit of time with me, & got me thru my anxiety. Just knowing it wasn't real, & that it would pass, helped.Then too, a friend stay with me. The meds help with my anxiety, ptsd, & phobias, but not my depression, that's what I need to address. I'm thinking as I get thru the steps, that will help a great deal. I'm on step 4 right now, & each time I finish a step, I feel that spiritual high. I just have to keep at it, it's a daily reprieve. I love those natural highs, they're so much better than any drug high I've ever been on. As long as I keep working the steps, & doing the do, I get these. That's been part of my problem, I've been resting on my laurels, I do believe that has something to do with my depression, maybe all of it, maybe part of it. More will be revealed. I'm doing good today. You all have a great week end.

posted by sharonsjourney @ 10:13 AM