2 YEARS OF SOBRIETY.......
Well, things are getting back to normal for me, & I'm coming out of my funk. Sometimes tho, I get this anxiety, out of the blue, for no reason. I feel a sense of doom with it, I don't like this at all. Some say it's my ptsd, some say it's anxiety, & some say it's my alcoholism, & it's normal for the first 4 or 5 years of sobriety. You mean I have to go thru this another 2 years? I hope not. I've been riding it thru, & telling myself it's not real, everything is ok, & talking to god. It does pass eventually, but it comes back. Maybe it is just part of early sobriety. I don't want to go thru the first 2 yrs. ever again. I'll have 3 yrs. next month. It's not that I'm this way all the time, or that I don't have joy, I do, & I enjoy my joy, a little pun there.I do seem to be more centered these days, now that there's some routine in my life. Am starting on my 8th step, that's a hard one, it's painful. I pray to remain willing. I'm ready for that twist in the mind, the 8th step talks about in the 12&12. Those little twists in our thinking, what a miracle those are. Most of the time I don't realise it till after the fact, they're little spiritual experiences. Another thing that has helped me thru this anxiety stuff is that I remain grateful, I feel it inside, & it gets me thru the anxiety. I truly am grateful for the gift of sobriety, I am blessed with so much good stuff in my life, I don't ever want to take it for granted. I heard, then I learned to want what I have at any given moment. You all have a great week end!
posted by sharonsjourney @ 12:55 PM
11 Comments:
nearly 3 years, wow, that's wonderful, you've done GREAT!
that sense of doom i also get. i normally get it when things are going just right, no major ups or downs to worry about, just an even keel. but i'm learning to see it for what i think it is... a little bit of boredom. my mind starts playing tricks then, looking for an up or down just because things are normal...
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Micky, You are not welcomed on my blog, please refrain yourself, & stay off. Get back on your meds!
Micky, Quit using what doesn't work. You'll never get anywhere as long as you use God as a weapon. Try love as a pursuasion, not weanpry as a force.
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3 years sober sharron well done, my writers block has dissapeared over the weekend and I feel ok this morning.
sobriety is like an never ending escallator which is constantly going down and you never reach the top, I have heard people say after 10 years this happens etc, but its spiritual progress and never spiritual perfection, well some people think they are spiritually perfect dont they!
Sharon, I get anxious some days too and then I'll get busy or turn it over and I'll be better. For me, it's just the process of getting better.
Happy almost 3yrs!!! and just keep doing what you are. suiting up and showing up... talking, praying readng, being kind to yourself...
I had a lot of anxiety when I first got sober. My sponsor had my write a gratitude list every night, it helped, because my braining was getting out of the negative and into the positive... hang in there (((HUGS)))
Dear Shannon,
I'm sorry if some of my comments were judgmental & shaming.
God Bless You
Micky
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