5th STEP.....
I did my 5th step yesterday. I'm not as bad as I thot I was, I was bracing for the worst. I have a very loving, & fair sponsor. I'm suree that had something to do with it. She didn't slap me around with my character defects. Now to get the 8th & 9th out of the way. Not that I take them lightlly, I don't. I found that I'm real good at being a victim, or seeing the world from a victim's view point. I was a victim as as a kid, & I learned that role very well. I'm an adult now, & I need to change that way of thinking. It's hard, that's probably one reason for my depression. Another thing is, I have a strong sense of fairness, since there was not alot of fairness going on when I was a kid. Those are good things to know, cuz now I can do things differently. I used to get myself into victim situations all the time. I don't do that anymore. In my sense of fairness, I can turn that into a good thing, like in my joining the Democratic party, I can fight for fairness in the government. I can delegate fairness. There were other things that came out, but these seemed to stand out the most, & have a definate pattern thruout my 4th step. You all have a good week end. I'm on my way to a meeting this morning.
posted by sharonsjourney @ 8:48 AM
9 Comments:
hey! found a site earlier today explaining the steps. i'm busy going through them (as in reading them) so i at least know what what is...
have a good weekend too.
Gosh, isn't it great to be able to face our worst selves and come out loving us anyways? I do look forward to doing my 4th and 5fth steps, and the freedom that will come afterwards.
Rock on groovy gurlfriend! Love ya
sharonsjourney said...
It's so called christains like you who scared me away from God. God brought me to AA, AA brought me to God. Did you know that all religions teach :
Greetings Sharon
I felt some pain when I read your “comments”. Were you FROTHING at the mouth when you posted your DIATRIBE? Were you abused as a child? I imagine you were RAGING over your fear, pain and shame? Poor little TERRIFID, Sharon!! Has AA ALTERED your BRAIN STRUCTURE, and you have become a SHAPE SHIFTING REPTILE? Get some help before it’s too late? Do you want to LOSE YOUR SOUL, Sharon? Are you one of SATAN’S disciples (AA)? You are a RAGEAHOLIC, CONTROL FREAK and AVOIDER. Being an EMOTIONAL COWARD, you hide your TRUE SELF in the DEMONIC world of AA, where SATAN is waiting to devour you. Are you a PSYCHOPATH,Sharon? I love you Sharon! Do you love me? How do you FEEL?
PEACE BE WITH YOU
MICKY
THE 12 STEPS DOWN TO HELL
I imagine 12 Step recovery programs are a slow slide into the jaws of Satan. I was involved with this evil “satanic cult” [AA] for over 30 years but was saved through the power of Jesus Christ. He directed me to a therapist who was into “real” recovery, not the mind destroying, soul destroying, cult, which is AA. I have met two Steppers recently & I imagine they are completely devoid of any emotion or insight. I feel pain because both these men are decent human beings but AA has destroyed their BRAIN STRUCTURE & they have no idea how to relate apart from expounding AA propaganda. I imagine Hell to be a continuous flow of AA meetings without any light at the end of the tunnel because one never recovers'. I beg you people who are in 12 Step programs, to get out before it is too late.
How does one recover when one is handing one’s power over to AA. The 12 Steps were written out of Wilson’s head, he certainly didn’t get his guidance from the Bible. I imagine he was an agent of Satan & he & Smith’s “cult religion” has filled millions of Steppers with their anti - Christ propaganda.
Step Three of AA is "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." While many in the Oxford Group placed their faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, there was much leeway given. Shoemaker, a leader of the Oxford Group, says, "The true meaning of faith is self-surrender to God." He further explains: Surrender to whatever you know about Him, or believe must be the truth about Him. Surrender to Him, if necessary, in total ignorance of Him. Far more important that you touch Him than that you understand Him at first. Put yourself in His hands. Whatever He is, as William James said, He is more ideal than we are. Make the leap. Give yourself to Him. Aside from capitalizing the "H," which Christians do to refer to the God of the Bible, "Him" could refer to any god of one’s own making [BEDPAN]. Can you see what is happening to you? Ask Jesus to take control of your lives, read the Bible & instead of 12 Step groups, go to Church. Burn your Big Book or use it as toilet paper. Can you see the difference: With The 12 Steps, you never recover but with John 3:16 you are guaranteed Eternal Salvation. The “ball is in your court”, Sharon? Are you in HELL, Sharon?
PEACE BE WITH YOU
MICKY
Kathy Lynne Said:
Your rant above is just that, a rant and appears to me to contain mostly if not all, misinformation. You simply do not know what you are talking about and at that I will leave you to it
Micky's Comments:
Greetings Kathy
I felt some pain when I read your comments. I imagine you were RAGING over your fear, pain and shame. I get a sense that you have a conscious fear of intimacy and an unconscious fear of abandonment. Your process is not about me, bur unresolved issues from your childhood. I am pleased that you are not drinking; at least your process gives you a chance to RECOVER, “LITTLE KATHY LYNNE”, who I imagine you abandoned quite a long time ago. I imagine AA is keeping you shut down emotionally – very much like your childhood. The only way you will RECOVER is for you to process your TERROR!! You are obviously a frightened LITTLE GIRL, who wants her MOMMY [AA]. I love [agape] you Kathy Lynne, and you will be in my prayers! Do you believe that JESUS CHRIST, died on a cross for yours sins, Kathy? How do you feel, Kathy?
PEACE BE WITH YOU
MICKY
Sharon Said:
As a fellow traveler, I am to live passionately for a life of service to love & respect of my fellow travelers & my planet in & of the universe...
My Dear Sharon
How can you have respect for your fellow travelers, when you have no respect for yourself. Do you believe that Jesus Christ, died on a cross for your sins, Sharon?
PEACE BE WITH YOU
MICKY
Kathy Lynne Said:
You imagined incorrectly...RAGING was a completely incorrect assessment of how I was feeling.. No rage involved. Not sure why you started this conversation and what your motives are but I don't much care for personal attacks and therefore I will end it here.
Micky's Comments:
Greetings Kathy Lynne
I felt some pain and sadness when I read your comments. You never mentioned how you felt, Kathy Lynne!! I imagine you were RAGING over your fear, pain and shame. I get a sense that you have quite a lot of repressed anger and SHAME, around feeling your pain. Underneath your AA persona, you are a very sad woman. Most women use their sadness as a cover for their anger and most men use their anger as a cover for their sadness. Can you see how your fear of INTIMACY is starting to surface […and therefore I will end it here.] and you want to “run” away. Your process is not about me, but unresolved issues from your childhood. I love (agape) you, Kathy Lynne, and I would like to see you recover LITTLE KATHY, who I imagined you abandoned quite a long time ago. How do you FEEL, Kathy Lynne?
MAT 7:13-15 "Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it. For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it. Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know theme by their fruits."
PEACE BE WITH YOU
MICKY
Danny Schwarzhoff said...
What exactly IS your experience with the Twelve Steps"
Micky's Comments:
Greetings Danny
I don't attend AA meetings anymore -- thank God. I imagine leaving AA becomes more difficult the longer one has been exposed to this evil, soul-destroying cult. I read with some sadness of a Stepper who wanted to leave but found it difficult because AA was his whole life. One becomes trapped & I imagine most Steppers feel safe albeit quite isolated from the real world. I imagine most Steppers don't have the guts to quit (AA) because of the indoctrination ("If you quit AA -- You will drink").
My process (recovery) started in 1994 (therapy, etc) but it took me many years to make a complete break from all 12 Step programs (I was also going to SLAA, CODA, ACOA). I imagine most alcoholics are terrified of intimacy (emotional cowards) & attending 12 Step programs is the ultimate escape (from intimacy). I would suggest that quite a few of the Steppers are "pussies" because they won’t face life "full on" without the "crutch" of 12 Step programs.
PEACE BE WITH YOU
MICKY
Dearest Sharon
If we are painstaking about this phase of our indoctrination, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know Satan and a new despair. We will regret the past and shut the door on Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who died on a cross, for mankind’s sin. We will comprehend the word insanity and we will know hell. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how BUCHMANNISM can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will re - appear. We will gain interest in selfish things and lose interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will be the only way. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity won’t leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle the Big Book, which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that SATAN is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Was Bill Wilson, insane? We think so. His anti – Christ propaganda is being fulfilled among us- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. His psychosis always materializes, when we sell our souls to sAtAn. Satan has a personal army of demons to assist him in attacking humans - especially STEPPERS, and accomplishing evil tasks. They roam the world looking for people that they may destroy.Are you being destroyed by the 12 STEPS (SATAN), Sharon?
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