FELLOW TRAVELER

TAKING RISKS......

I haven't blogged for awhile, I couldn't get into my post for some odd reason. I was going thru some stuff, I wanted to blog. I think I want to write about taking risks, the same ones. Risk falling in love, risk letting someone love me. I find myself thinking I don't think I'm able to love again. I was hurt too much, I was badly damaged, on top of already being damaged. It's not only that I don't want to hurt again, I don't want to hurt anyone again. I hurt men. Most of the time it's not intentional, but sometimes it is. Sometimes I strike out at whoever I'm with, & I hurt. I don't want to do that anymore. I used to let myself fall in love. Now, I stop myself when I start having those feelings for a man, romantically, that is. I just won't let myself go there. Oh yes, I've done that before. But more often than not, I was in love before I could stop it. Maybe I need more time to heal from my last one, I still feel sad when I think about it not working out. Oh he broke my heart in a million pieces. And too, I take more time to recover, I'm older, I heal slower. I've been in so many relationships, I think I'm burned out. I know I've started thinking maybe I'm incapable of having a relationship. I know I don't get into one so easilly anymore, I'm THINKING more. You know, do I really want to go to the trouble? Or, where is this one going to take me? And finally, I want to know what's in it for me? I never thot about that before, I just got into them, not thinking. I'm not doing it now, but awhile ago I was overanalyzing the situration, the person, I tend to overanalyze I'm trying to find a balance, & what is going on here, inside of me, inside of you? I'll keep you posted. Have a good one.

posted by sharonsjourney @ 10:49 PM