Saturday, September 02, 2006

RELATIONSHIPS

I just read a blog about relationships, that makes me realize my heart isn't available anymore. Well, it is to friends, but not romantically. There's been too many failed relataionships and one failed marriage. I literally almost died from a broken heart in my last relationship. It's been a year since we broke up. I still find myself sitting on my couch expecting him to walk up to the door smiling, I would light up whenever I saw him, it was that way for almost six years. I miss him to this day. I've gotten alot better though, I've healed alot. He will always have a place in my heart, but now it's not all of my heart, I've come along ways. The thing is, I don't think I can ever open my heart like that again. I know I can't. Next time has to be slow and easy, a little at a time. I think maybe that's the normal way, I don't know, I'm not normal. I have slowed down though, I'm getting older, and I don't like being rushed into anything, especially a relationship. I'm not willing to hurt like that again.

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