FELLOW TRAVELER

I think I've hit a codependent bottom. Sometimes I think of my old love. This month marks a year since we were together, and I'm sad and empty. I sit on my couch and almost expect to see him walk up to my door all smiles. He used to do that, and I'd just light up. That's what he did for me. I haven't seen him for a long time and I miss him so much. I know we'll never be together again, we're toxic for each other. Sad. We sure gave it a try though. It was one of those loves where he swept me off my feet. I'm told that's not love, but I know better. I felt that way for almost six years, it never went away. Since he's been gone I've lost the spark in me, for the program, for life, for anything. You'd think it would come back by now. I'm thinking about starting Alanon to deal with these and other issues, and counseling again. I'm one of those women who 'loved too much'. I learned my lessson, I won't do that again. I'm more on my toes this time. Not that I think I'm going to get hurt this time. I have to watch my internal boundaries. The old hurt is getting much better, and for the most part I've moved on, or have I? Wh;y do I feel this way. I miss him much of the time. I'm going to a meeting now, and work with another alcoholic/addict.

posted by sharonsjourney @ 5:27 PM