FELLOW TRAVELER

LEAVING TRAILS.....

I was talking to a friend last nite who informed me I was way too hard on myself, & to quit it. He said to pray for forgiveness. Well, I know God forgives me & I'm sure glad, because I will never forgive myself for some things I've done. It's a good thing I'm in a spirituall program, where I work on turning my life over, because the more I do that, the more I will feel God's forgiveness. My own will wants to do me in. I tend to be hard on others too, because I put expectations on them, & when they don't measure up, damn them. Same as I do myself. So, yes I need to let up.

Tomorrow is my birthday, I will be older than dirt. Funny thing is, I don't feel it. I still feel young, sometimes I even feel like a little girl, sometimes I am, I have tantrums. I think I've gotten younger since I've gotten sober & got in the program. I was getting old when I was drinking & using, life beat me down. Now, I am better ablle to cope, I don't react to everything (not always anyway). I used to create messes, everywhere, today I get to clean them up. I don't want to leave a trail behind me. Oh there still is one, I'm not finished cleaning up, I get to work on that the rest of my life, because I'm still learning.

posted by sharonsjourney @ 11:06 AM